My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
