You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
