I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize