ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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