Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
