I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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