i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
