I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
