just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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