sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize