I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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