Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
