oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
