Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
