Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
