Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
