found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There r osticjed everywhere
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
