my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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