Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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