Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
