he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
