So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize