i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
