She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well you can't waste a boner
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
