you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize