I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
