dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
