You work out of a Hotel?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
