im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
