Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
