So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
