I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Couch. On fire.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
