its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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