I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
