therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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