We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
