I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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