I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
