the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
