So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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