You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
