4 words: hood of his car
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
