Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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