It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize