he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Pants are for mortals
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