i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
