remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
