When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm experimenting with sincerity
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize