I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
