I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
