I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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