There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize