the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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