Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
