I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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