Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
