She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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