whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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