she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
