Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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