How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
