I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
